Comment on Speaking English.....

So once upon a time I was thinking about going off Diet Coke-frills I was totally going too, but I decided it was ok to drink but just at work. Then McDonald's came out with this fantabulous summer promotion where you could get large drinks for only $1. The reason I support this is two-fold: it's cheaper than what I pay at work (the cafeteria told us that when they raised their drink prices it was ok because they were still cheaper than anywhere else you could buy drinks-ha!) and Diet Coke from McDonald's is SO MUCH BETTER than DC from the cafeteria at my POB. They need to clean their taps because it's not tasting so good. I need to feel the burn and have my eyes water upon drinking-and it's not happening right now.

Another positive aspect McDonald's $1 drink is that they have styrofoam cups for their sweet tea. Now I learned from my mom when I was in Florida that you can request the sweet tea cups for the diet coke. Call me crazy, blame me for being the cause of increased landfills, but I firmly believe diet coke tastes better in a styrofoam cup. Add balled ice and you've got the nectar of the gods.

Now it may sound like requesting the styrofoam cup would be simple-I had no problems doing this in Pocatello or Florida-but in Draper, UT it's like I'm asking for world peace. The problem you may ask? My local McDonald's is full of employees who "no speaka da English"** or are fearful of handing out the styrofoam cups. I shall illustrate my experiences ordering the styrofoam cup in various scenarios:

Scenario #1-I wait in the horrendously long line (it's as if the McDonald's on 123rd South puts catnip in their food because the line is always SO LONG) and pull up to order, "Can I get a large diet coke in a styrofoam cup?" McDonald's Employee, "Um......I'm going to have to check with my manager. Me, "Ummmm.....ok". I get my styrofoam cup but feel like I got away with something I shouldn't have.

Scenario #2-It's lunch time and they've got a ESL (English as a Second Language) employee outside helping expedite orders. Me, "Can I get a large diet coke in a styrofoam cup?" Employee, "..........Large diet coke and chicken?" Me, "No, large diet coke in a styrofoam cup". Employee, "No entiendo" (aka "I don't understand" in Spanish-yes, that's right-I am now speaking Spanish in my own country*) Me,"sty-ro-foam cup-the cups you use for sweet tea". Employee, smiling, "yes, yes ok". I pull forward and get a diet coke in a regular cup. Fortunately for the employee I had just come from the temple and consciously made the decision to not make a scene.

Scenario # 510 (not really but I had a few more mishaps before finally........
Me, "Can I get a large diet coke in a styrofoam up?" Employee, "Oh, you mean the cups we use for the sweet tea?" Me, "Yes, that's exactly what I mean-bless you for understanding, when do you usually work? Can I name my first-born after you?"

Ok, so I may have exaggerated that last part-but it was as if the heavens opened and angels sang as I was handed my diet coke without incident.

The moral of the story-it's a good thing I don't drink alcohol or I would surely be an alcoholic if the ease with which I crave diet coke is any indication. And I appreciate fast-food employees being able to cater to my whims-it may be cheap food but customer service can make you or break you.

**I'm not prejudiced against those who come to America looking for opportunites to make a better life for their families. America is a haven for those looking for peace and prosperity (or at least it's supposed to be). However-if you are going to be here I think English should be learned. I also think you should go through the proper steps to become a citizen. I also think that if people aren't here legally they shouldn't have immediate rights to our government paying for their healthcare. The point is-if I move to another country I wouldn't expect to be there for years and not be able to speak the language. Not trying to be offensive about it all-it's just my opinion afterall-and my blog :)

Comment on relaxation.....

After spending a few hours in my old stomping grounds, I took the long way home to Draper through the hills.

Windows down, sunroof open, DMB's Under The Table and Dreaming playing, and an awesome moon......

I could melt into a puddle of happiness......

Comment on life and death....

Working in an intensive care nursery you know that babies don't always make it-but the difference between knowing death happens and experiencing death with a patient is completely different.

Back in October I experienced my first patient passing away. I cared for this sweet baby for a few months and had grown to love her. When I found out she wasn't going to make it I was completely thrown for a loop. It was expected yet unexpected. I cried a lot. I cried through report, I cried through my shifts with her, I cried at home and was unable to sleep. I cried because of the unjustice of it all, for the pain that she endured, and for the fighter that she is. I cried because of my fear of seeing someone die. The last two nights before she passed all I did was hold her practically unceasingly. When it became obvious that she was leaving us I held her closer and softly and tearfully whispered to her that it was ok for her to go Home, that her Heavenly Father and her elder brother, Jesus Christ, would be waiting for her. She slipped away quietly and was at last at peace.

I, however, was not at peace. I didn't realize how stressful my job was until this point. I slipped into a state of depression and anxiety that was a lot of fun to deal with. I started to have panic attacks when going to work, afraid that I would have to see one of my sweet babies not make it. Luckily through therapy I've been able to start the mending process. Which is good-because working in an intensive care nursery, babies don't always make it.

Earlier this summer I began caring for another patient that I inevitably grew to love in a short period of time. I read over her history and realized that her time on this earth would be short, but it didn't matter. I wanted to make sure that she would feel love during her stay in our unit. I spent many nights holding her and talking to her and rubbing her head which helped calm her down. I took care of her the night before she was discharged to spend time with her family at home-she had a hard day that day and slept most of the night, except for a few short minutes when she opened her eyes and smiled as I talked to her before she fell back to sleep. I'm grateful I've had those moments with her.

I attended her funeral today-my first funeral for a patient. The services were wonderful and filled with love for this sweet baby and her family. I cried through the funeral. I cried because I was able to care for such a sweet baby, I cried because I know that she was brave enough to come to earth and be given a body that was imperfect just so she could be resurrected one day and be able to live eternally with her family and her Heavenly Father, and that I know this and that makes me able to deal with the pain of loss. And I cried because I'm so blessed to work in a place where we experience these hard moments that make the good moments that much better.

And that's why I do what I do. It's not just holding cute babies (like people assume), it's dealing with life and death situations. Sometimes I come home happy and rejuvenated, but more often than not I come home and am utterly exhausted by what's occured. When I realize I've done the best I could and helped these babies feel loved and get the care they need, whether it's a happy ending or not, it's worth it and that's all that matters......