Submitted....

I just submitted my application for the DNP program at the U.*

DNP=Doctorate of Nursing Practice

=I will be an NNP

NNP=Neonatal Nurse Practitioner

This wasn't part of my plan

Neither was serving a mission

Or being single at this age

Or becoming a nurse

So the BYU student who failed an entire semester

Because she chose to go shopping instead of take a final

(among other things obviously)

And didn't take school seriously**

Is going to go for a doctorate***

Once again the Lord is in charge

It's all part of His plan

So now it's part of mine

And with the Lord's help I can do this

Because I can't do it on my own

*I'm still waiting for one recommendation

to come in-please pray she'll get it in 

by Jan 15th-I'm freaking out here!

**I was much more serious for my nursing 

degree. Scarily serious. 

***I will insist my family call me Dr. Mills

I mean doctor is in the title

A little of this....a little of that....

I need to blog. I stopped blogging and I stopped writing altogether. No journal entries, no blogging, no anything. It's so sad.

I need to take pictures. I have a camera. I have a cell phone with  camera. I don't take pictures. Unless it's of this guy--->

That's B-Squared, my nephew. Love him. He's cute and he's big and he's loud and he appears to like me, at least he drools on me,  unless his mom is in the room, and then he doesn't like anyone.

I'm on Christmas break. I still call it Christmas break. It's fine. I spent the first half of it nauseated and the last few days of it with a sinus infection that seems to be outlasting my z-pack. I hope this isn't indicative of what the New Year will bring.

My year feels uncertain. I'm applying for school to get a doctorate. I've got a bunch of stuff I need to accomplish this year at work as well. I need to put together a desk. I can't sleep because I have so much to get done but I don't know where to start. How do you write a personal statement?  I state that you should let me in your program because I am great. Does that work?

Diet Coke is no longer my drink of choice. I've had 2 this week and they don't taste good. It's like I don't even know myself anymore!

For now all I do know is that I want to write. And take pictures. And sleep.

Happy New Year.

Numbers......

I feel like I've had a new revelation, or maybe I'm just a little out of it today-but have you ever noticed that everything is in numbers? I guess it's the only way we can quantify and work cohesively in the world with others.

In the morning the first thing I hear is my alarm...5:00am...snooze for 10 minutes...35 minutes to get ready for work. Somehow it's now 5:45. 10 minutes to blow-dry my hair. Forget it, it can airdry. The radio show starts blaring "It's 6am and already the boy ain't right".

6:15, on the freeway. If I'm lucky. 35 minutes to get to work. 15-30 minutes to get report. Fluids running at 12.4 ml/hr. Urine output at 3.6ml/hr. Meds due at 0900, 1400, 1800.  Morphine is 1:1, Fentanyl is 10 to 1. Ativan is 2:1. Multiply, divide, add, subtract.

1330: Pt. irritable, difficult to console, prn ativan given. 1400: pt calm and sleeping.

240 calories eaten for breakfast. 360 at lunch. 900 calories left for the day.

5,657 steps taken so far. 1300 calories left to burn. 1.7 pounds lost this week.

1845 where's my replacement? 19:25, on the road home. If I get there fast enough I can get to the gym by 8:00 (I switch from military to 12hr time in the car). Need to run 3.5 miles for my half marathon training. Home by 9, in bed by 10. Hopefully. Alarm tells me I have 6 hrs and 18 minutes before it will go off in the morning.

Move $200 to savings. Take $100 out for new windshield. $26.77 spent so far this month on groceries. $173.23 left in the grocery budget.

Mortgage is due on Sept. 1st. HOA due on Aug 30th. Bill pay takes 7 days.  Balancing my budget takes 1 hour. Watching Teen Mom takes 42 minutes. Combine to save time.

 Enough with the numbers! I'd like to start intuitive living. Not using a clock. Not worrying about time. Sleeping in until I'm rested, going to appointments when I'm ready, not counting money, calories, minutes, days. Living by the arc of the sun and whenever the mood strikes. And of course, if we all did it anarchy would ensue and our entire civilization would cease to function.

But it's a nice thought.